Monday, July 13, 2020

An Out Of This World Offer

The visiting mermaids could hardly leave the west coast without doing the Wicca Horror Show. After a stint at Ocean World, covered by one of her segments, they appeared on the horror set in costume. One of them had an announcement to make during the live spot.

Seated next to the trio, Wicca rushed through the ubiquitous drug ads. "And if you can't afford your meds--neither can we!" She swiveled about. "All right, ladies, who is it and what is it?--twins or triplets?"

"Nothing like that," said blonde Binia, frowning.

Wicca focused past Ellie, the redhead in green, to regard the brunette Sirtis in blue. The producer, Ed, had just slunk on stage to fix her mike. Naturally the cameraman zoomed in. "Ned, that's the first time you ever got a girl out of trouble."

The dwarf Hecabano sat cross-legged on the low table, holding the glass skull, source of the Team Dan adventures from the Outworld. "A lot you know, Mistress of Mattress. The ladies have earlier informed me of the news."

"Thy art a nose wart, imp."

The dwarf scowled. "If you must use Elizabethan like Cambris does, then learn the grammar system. 'Thy' is possessive."

"Am not, am not."

Ed gestured from between cameras. "Can we get their news, already?"

"Thank you." Binia waggled fins, forgetting there was no water."Sirtis has a modeling offer."

"Been that, gone there," Wicca said. "Don't tell me you're hanging up your tails."

Ellie fiddled with hair beads. "We don't plan to. But there isn't much of a market for elderly mermaids. We need to plan ahead."

"How did this transpire?" Hecabano asked.

Binia traded grins with Ellie. "Sirtis doesn't smile a lot--she's too hip for that. But I was telling a joke, and a photographer caught her in the act of shaking out wet hair. He was hooked on the spot."

"A joke?" Hecabano leaned closer. "Pray share the mirth, Miss Sirtis."

The brunette wasn't thrilled. "Yah, well, it's about soldiers in World War Two. 'Nuff said, you know?"

"Ah," Hecabano mused. "I perceive a naughty element."

"At our expense as usual," Ellie said with a skyward glance.

Wicca rose and strutted on five-inch Dolce and Gabbanas. "Before you decide, let me invite you to Outworld. You know these looney tunes are getting ready to blow this one up."

Unlike the studio crew or the TV audience, the mermaids knew the reality of magic and parallel worlds. Team Dan, five former lab workers, had become celebrity super heroes there.

"We need to get back to the east coast," Binia decided. "But we can find substitutes for a week or two."

"Perfect!" Wicca regained her wing chair by the fireplace, paused for pseudo wind and rain effects while the wind moaned about her "castle". "Stick with me, ladies, and you'll be making little fish on a new planet!"

Hecabano blanched. "Can you say that on TV?"

"Okay." Sirtis offered a rare smile, this one on the impish side. "First, you come to Six Forks and try our gig."

"Yeeks?" Wicca did her classic slant mouth and bug eyes. "Fair enough, missy--you're on!"

"Just what we need," Ed muttered. "A Goth mermaid. I can't wait to hear the music she picks out."

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