A modern translation by Eolone with a trusty borrowed Latin dictionary.
Location: a stage at a Roman camp.
Lycus — usurping king of Thebes or something.
Megara — wife of Hercules, and daughter of late king of Thebes or something.
Hercules — coming back from having a hell of a time.
— Marry me, and peace will come to the land.
— I am faithful to my man, and when he comes back he’ll snap you in two.
— Ha! Your man looking for the best sweetmeat around!
— Never! He vowed his love to me; and he always came back to me.
— When he tired of running around.
— Never! Never!
[Enter Hercules in lion skin and holding a fish by the tail. He looks outward.]
— Veni. [He looks around the stage.]
— Vidi. [He approaches Lycus, and lands him a sockeye.]
— Oh, Herc, Herc...where were you! This moment could not have come any sooner!
— But? — I came on cue.
— But where were you?
— O Dearest!
— Were you looking —
— O Honey, Darling!
[Music. Dance. They fall off the stage. Exit Lycus with sockeye.]
Tuesday, December 1, 2020