Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Moon Quaker, Episode 1, maybe

(I post this with regret. I will remove it if it is unsatisfactory. Nor do I know where it's going.)

Definition: Moon (v) — to regard, to pick up, e.g., moon rock.

Example: Sir, I moon thee knight.

...mmmm....Houston, we have a problem.... Emergency... Call your editors.

Rocky screeched his car to a halt exactly within the painted lines, and threw open his door, striking a car over the line. He exited the other door, taking his briefcase and running into the building.

The guards shouted: "Stop. Stop." But there was no time to waste on them. The door Rocky came through opened at the same time, and there were more shouts: "Where's he at!? Rocky stopped in his track. "At?" He had always paused when he got to Houston and heard "At?" "Where's the kid at?" Or, "Where's Romeo at? He's supposed to be under the window." His mind would sometimes wander: "Sarg!, where's the sniper at!?" Where did "At?" come from? He tried to find out. Was it a corruption of patois? "Where's Jakes, eh?" "In the swamp fetchin' supper."

"Show them your badge", said Oliver, who was looking out for him. "We're in this conference room."

The two walked into the room where there were a dozen grammarians, lexicographers, encyclopaedists, literary historians, philologists, and other specialists.

Oliver explained the problem: "You're the closest we have to a poet. There's a crowd outside shouting for our heads. A returning astronaut sent this communication — 'Sir, I moon the knight'. We have been knocking our heads against a wall on how to explain this away.

Rocky looked at it, looked at it again, asked if there might be violence, looked at it again. Finally, he said, "I think I have something." He wrote a note on a sheet; and the group exited the building on the other side, and faced the riotous crowd.

They saw angry faces. Some in the crowd were holding banners, prominent among them: "Knights Templar in America Society". Oliver was the first to speak: "Ladies, gentlemen, a moment please. There was an error it transmission. The message was garbled, and the computer printed out an erroneous message. Rocky, will you explain the exact message for the ladies and gentlemen?

Rocky stepped forward and said, "The message is taken from an anonymous poem. It reads,'Sir, I Moon thee Night, n-i-g-h-t', followed by, 'By thy silvery light we catch sight of witches on broomsticks'."

The crowd exploded, "Burnham! Burnham!", as they raced away to execute a plan.

The small group relaxed. Oliver took a breath and turned to Rocky, "Better than I expected. I can tell it's going to be a good return landing. And there's work for you in the future."

"What's that?"

"Returning moon rocks. I'll get you the job. It's made for the press."

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