Saturday, April 25, 2020
Fun With License Plates
"Good evening out there in computer land. This is Dr--not the medical kind--Sheldon Cooper. With me is my associate Amy Farah Fowler."
"Also a non-medical doctor," Amy said, pushing at her glasses.
"Ah yes, that was remiss of me." Sheldon patted her thigh. "We're going to present clever license plate sayings for you to figure out. This will observe the convention of no more than eight characters. Keeping in mind this country's abysmal average IQ, I will offer a clue for each one. Our first entry means 'highly valued'."
The card read TOPR8ED.
A boy chimed in. "I got it: Topper ate Ed. Bad dog!"
An old-maid frown creased Sheldon's brow. "Good lord, man, how can a misbehaving pet be considered of high value? Never mind. Our next entry is courtesy of Amy."
"And here's the clue," Amy began. "Sassy and unapologetic!" Her card displayed SOSUMI.
"It's a type of Japanese cuisine!" crowed a young woman.
"Umm. . . ." Amy paused. "Perhaps if you sound it out. . . ."
Sheldon imitated cricket song. "Another frustrated comedian. Come on, people, you can't be that dense. Try this one, whose clue is 'uncommitted'."
"Number one. . . .something or other," an older gent said.
Sheldon had head in hands. It was necessary for Amy to continue.
"Try this one, folks. It means 'marginal existence'."
"Skate and goodbye!" a caller announced.
"Like our ill-fated endeavor," Sheldon lamented, "this one has to do with a dearth of luck."
A regular dude weighed in. "United Nations. . . .forty two. . . .national?"
Amy put a consoling hand on Sheldon's. "Perhaps 'dearth' is a little highbrow for this audience." She held up the next card. "It means 'impecunious'."
"For Eve, registered nurse. . . ."
Sheldon's eyes rolled. "Now Amy, you know 'impecunious' is going to knock them for a loop. Now, kids, here's our personal picks. Amy will display hers first."
"Sassy lady," Amy said, holding up IK&Y.
A gruff, country-accented voice came on. "I.K. and Y. It's a business, maybe a railroad."
Now Amy had head in hands.
"Last chance to redeem yourselves, folks,"Sheldon said, frowning. "Here's my pick."
"You can't say that on the internet!" objected a matronly voice.
"What, what?" Sheldon protested. "It's 'Shutters', my proposed operating system versus Windows."
"Perhaps," Amy offered, "that first vowel is a tad ambiguous."
Sheldon glowered at the web cam. "This is Sheldon Cooper signing off until our next Fun With License Plates." He shut the laptop. "Good lord."